Oh, it just keeps getting better...

Thursday, April 30, 2009
Last night the boy says he thinks maybe we should postpone the wedding. Maybe it's too much. Maybe we should go to counseling since he just figured out that he's not having any fun planning the wedding. Maybe we need to take the pressure off a bit. Seriously? Three months before the wedding? Three weeks before we have to find a place to live, pack & move? THIS is the time he chooses to have this discussion?! You have to be fucking kidding me!

How is this my life right now?

Sorry ladies, I'm a total downer right now.

Sorry, I've been MIA...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I have so much catching up to do & so little time to do it! Just a quick update - the bank came through with $4000 for us to move in 30 days. I guess that makes it easier for them knowing we won't trash the place, they won't have to go through the legal hoops of eviction & they know we'll be out in 30 days & they can get in & sell it. Works for me since it's unlikely I will see my deposit any time soon.

So now I've got about 3 weeks to find a place, pack & move. Meanwhile, I also have to find a photographer & a dress. Any prayers, good thoughts, ideas or advice (or a photographer) would be greatly appreciated!

I am going to try to keep up & stay connected to this whole wedding planning thing but the last few days I have just been so overwhelmed that unfortunately, I don't do much of anything. I am trying to believe that this will all go smoothly & we'll find an awesome place & a landlord willing to work with our bad credit & we won't be packing our brains out at the last minute like last time. I really do try to buy into that vision. I actually visualize it at night & play it in my head. Like maybe if I put it out there in the universe, the universe will provide it. I'm not sure if the universe is listening but I sure hope so!

Forgive me ladies if I'm not right on top of things. I've really missed keeping up with all of you but I'll try to catch up & stay connected.

Wish me luck!

Wedding Invitations

Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Ok, so I've finally shown you all my venue & now I'd like your opinions on these invitations. I found these on the fabulous Etsy (seriously, how did I not know about this site before?). These are from the lovely collection at TrueViolet.

Oviously, the colors aren't right but I purchaed the sample set & she's going to customize it for me. The boy & I disagree on how to use the colors. Our colors are black, white & deep red, maybe a little purple as well. SO that being said, I was thinking black & white background with deep red frame & black font (maybe our names in red) & black envelopes. The boy (who used to design signs) thinks the black & white will be too dark & the frame detail won't stand out enough. I see his point, however, those are our colors so how else could we do it? He thinks we can go gray in the background. That doesn't make sense to me since it's not one of our colors.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I convo'd the designer & asked her opinion so we'll see what she comes up with. I just think they go so nicely with our venue. I hope they are as nice as I think they are!

I don't think we'll used an RSVP card & asked her to make it a reception card with the address & our website info.

I'll let you all know when I get them but until then, feel free to give your opinions.

So Let's Talk About the Venue....finally!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I've been holding out on talking about our venue since we still need to finalize a couple things but I think I'm over it now. They've assured me the date is mine & I don't need to worry. So without further ado, we're getting married & having our reception at The Bungalow Club in Los Angeles.

Here's some pics from the interior:

The two pictures above are from the front bar.

These two are the patio area

And this is the upstairs lounge!

Fabulous right? Ok, so not exactly the retro cocktail party thing I had always wanted but we really like it & I love the owner. She is so cool & fabulous & she makes it so easy (need I remind everyone how much I enjoy the easy?). And since we're getting married on a Sunday, we get the entire venue to ourselves! Until 1:30am. Woohoo!

When I sent in my request for a quote, she sent me back one price. ONE PRICE!! Thank you Jesus! It includes ceremony (need an officiant) appetizers, buffet dinner, open bar for an hour cash bar after that (I know, I know - people think it's unacceptable but ya know what? I don't drink & I have a very hard time paying for people to get drunk at my party. So it is what it is & my friends are fine with it) and of course all tables, chairs, lines, servers, security & get this - TAX & TIP! Yay, I don't have to think about it!

AND, since it's got so much of it's own stuff going on that I don't really need to decorate much. All those candles are part of the decor. Maybe some centerpices but that's about it. One more thing off the list! I'm kidding of course, I don't have a list. I should have a list & sometimes I pretend I'm making lists to refer to later but then I never look at them again (no wonder I suck at this).

But I digress, the ceremony will be held on the patio. They'll move out all the furniture & set it up however we want (we don't know what that might be but they'll do it). After the short ceremony, everyone will move into the main bar for cocktails, appetizers & Sinatra while they prepare the patio for dinner. After dinner & cake, it's upstairs to the lounge for dancing & the older folks who don't like 80's pop & rock can still enjoy some mellower music downstairs.

A big thanks to The Broke-Ass Bride. If I hadn't seen this on her site, I never would have contacted them. I had seen the Bungalow Club on some list but didn't bother emailing as I didn't think I could afford it. Turns out I can. Email me if you want to know more about the cost.

The Economy, The Wedding & The Drama

Sunday, April 19, 2009
we all know the economy sucks & while I hate being unemployed, I am grateful that we are getting married in this environment. See, we only have a certain amount of money to spend. The amount would be the same no matter when we got married so I think it's pretty lucky that right now I can get me some deals I probably wouldn't get otherwise. Particularly in the photography arena. I've found a couple good deals now it's just a matter of seeing more of their work.

On the down side, I got a call the other day that the property we are renting has been foreclosed upon & we have to move. The moving part is a pain in the ass but honestly, I don't love where we live so I don't really mind. However since the jackass owner has gone along the last year taking our money every month & not paying his mortgage, the chances of me getting my security deposit back are slim to none. The bank is offering me cash to move without a fuss (apparently a lot of people trash the places) & I'm negotiating with them on the amount. Hopefully it'll be enough to cover another deposit, first months rent & the movers.

So now I have to pack & move in a month, take my landlord to small claims court to get my money back & plan a wedding for August 9th. And to make it easier the boy will be out of town for about 10 of the 30 days we have.

I'm screwed.

Nah - I can do this. I'm not working so I can get off my ass during the day & get some shit done (both for the wedding & the move). I just need to keep a positive attitude & not get sucked in to the depression that threatens to take over periodically.

Apparently, the universe didn't get my message about not having any drama in my life...

I'm Back...

Thursday, April 16, 2009
Just spent 2 hours catching up on all my wedding blogs. Why I waited til the 15th to do my taxes, I'll never know. It's not like they were hard. I don't freakin' own anything! But now I'm all caught up.

Taxes? Check

Wait - that's it? Two whole days & that's all? Yeah, that's it. That's pretty much all I've accomplished the last few days. Oh wait, there was a wedding convo with the boy that didn't go well at all. The boy is stupid & opinionated. Why can't he just do things the way I want? Ok, I know it's his wedding too but why is he so hung up on traditional crap?!

See, I happen to love the idea of having photos done before the wedding. First of all, everyone looks good but more importantly, I love, love, love those "first look" pictures & it's not something I want to share with everyone as I'm standing at the end of an aisle. I just assumed this wouldn't be a problem. Didn't even occur to me. Yeah - wrong. Apparently, that's "just what you do". So I told him why it was important to me to do it my way & asked him to tell me why he wanted to do it the other way. The answer? It's just important to me & that should be good enough. At this point it took every ounce of my resolve not to kick him in the head.

You see, this is not the first time he has given me the "it's just what you do" answer. I am absolutely NOT going to do a bouquet toss. I hate it. Particularly because many of my single friends are older. It feels a little like "hey, all you desperate to get married 40 year olds come on out & maybe you could be next". I hate it. So when I say no bouquet or garter toss, he says of course there will be (you guessed it) "it's just what you do". I told him not me but did conceed to do the garter toss if it was important to him but no way on the flowers.

So here I am thinking we're this cool couple that doesn't need silly traditions & wants a wedding that's very much about "us" as opposed to what's expected. Turns out, that's just me. AT least one of us is cool.

Of course I know I'm going to have to compromise here. Well actually, I probably don't. If I really push it, he'll eventually give in & tell me to do what I want but I really hate that too. The question is - which things worth the extra effort? I'm finding I'm having a hard time discussing things with him without making him defensive. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing as I really am consciously trying to talk things out but it's been really tough.

Is it like this for anyone else? I see a lot of blogs & most girls talk about how great their fiance is & I hate to say this but sometimes, I don't even like mine! Is that wrong?

It might be kinda creepy....

Tuesday, April 14, 2009
since I am biologically old enough to be his mother, but I might have a little crush on Zac Efron. I mean, how freakin' adorable is this kid?

Seriously, at the risk of sounding like Mrs. Robinson, he's just yummy!

I Think I have to Stop Reading SMP...

Every "real" wedding they show, while phenomenal, is so far out of any price range I can imagine that it's starting to depress me as opposed to inspiring me. I believe that means it's time to let go.

If You Haven't Already....

Head over to The Indecisive Bride & enter her guestbook giveaway! They are pretty fabulous.

Offbeat Bride Advice

Thursday, April 9, 2009
So I'm catching up on a couple days of blogs & I come upon this from Offbeat Bride. It starts with the Best of Craigslist rant on weddings which most of us are familiar with & which I find freakin' hysterical. She then goes on to say it's easy to talk about what you don't want & much harder to pinpoint what you do what.
But you know what's much harder? Creating what you want. It's so easy to slam other people for their over-the-top this, their tasteless that, their tacky whatever. It's much harder to stare down the muzzle of your own wedding (and your own life!) and determine what you actually want from it.

I have to be honest, I like bitching about all the things that drive me crazy. I honestly hate planning my wedding. I know but it's true. I hate it. According to every wedding website, I'm doing nothing right, I'm about a gazillion steps behind on the checklists & I "should" be enjoying picking out the perfect centerpieces & figuring out how to decorate our venue like "us". I don't. I hate it. I am a rare kind of anti-bride. Complaining, venting, ranting about all this is what keeps me sane & now this one comes along & makes me think perhaps I should change my focus. Crap

So here's what I've decided in my few moments of introspection - she makes a very valid point & I do need to put a little more energy into what we want vs. what we don't want. That being said, the anti-bride in me will still be showing up fairly regularly. I can't help it. I like it. I amuse myself & it makes me feel better. Not better about myself. I mean, I don't think what I want is better than what someone else wants for their wedding. Not the case, none of us are better, just different. It just makes me feel better to vent about the stuff I find insane or inane....whatever.

Sneak Peek

Here is a little sneak peek of our venue:

I'm nervous about giving more info about the venue since we haven't actually put down the deposit yet but it has a lot of rich colors & a bit of a cool Moroccan vibe.

Today I've been thinking about bouquets & I am completely in love with the color of these purplish black calla lilies but I think I'll need to incorporate a bit more deep red to tie into the already existing colors at the venue.

But seriously, is this not fantastic?!

Today I'm obsessed with...

Friday, April 3, 2009
Table lamps. Exciting right? You were probably hoping for a little wedding obsession but no, it's table lamps. Specifically lamps for our bedside tables. Right now we have these horribly mismatched lamps. I brought mine form my apartment & the boy brought his - they could not be more different - in size & style. It's one of those things I always said I would but when I had money & well, that hasn't happened. So they go on the registry (yes, the registry I am having such a hard time with).

The lamp problem is as follows - we don't have very big bedside tables so I need something that has a small footprint so I can put all my other crap on the table as well. So far, I haven't really found anything both reasonably priced and that we'll both like. The longer the search goes on, the less I care what the boy thinks.

I like these two, but I think he'll use his veto power.

This little cutie is cheap but can only take a 60 watt bulb. Not bright enough for reading. Of course, the lamp I have now only takes a 60 watt bulb but it's had 100 watts in there for as long as I can remember. The only problem I can see is that perhaps it's too hot got the small shade as the liner is a bit singed.

I think these may be the winners. They don't have as much "character" as the others but they have a narrow base, simple shades, nice color & the perfect height. Also the most expensive - crap.

Yeah, I know. This registry thing is really taking up a lot of my time. Who freakin' obsesses about this stuff? Luckily, I know there are more of you. It may be different obsessions, but I know I'm not the only one. Thank God for blogs, right?

The Venue - finally!

We have finally decided on our venue & are going over next weekend to put down the deposit. It's not quite what I had imagined but I still really like it. I may have to do a little re-thinking in the centerpiece/decor department but frankly, the price is right & the owner is simply fantastic. She makes everything so easy & I think we've established that I am all about the easy.

As soon as we get everything signed, I'll put up some pics & share a little more. Can't do it yet for fear of jinxing something.

Sometimes, it's too much....

Thursday, April 2, 2009
I've kind of avoided wedding blogs the last couple days. Don't get me wrong, I love you guys but sometimes it's too much. I'm not doing things like "they" say I should. Even thought I've been engaged over a year, I've only recently gotten serious about planning anything. Not a year ago, not even a year from the date of the wedding. Seriously, I only gave myself about 6 months. So that means every list that I find in a book, magazine or website is completely useless to me - and overwhelming.

Today I was reading A Practical Wedding. I love Meg (who doesn't?) but today she blogged about The List & I found myself freaking out. It's the 4-5 months before list (exactly where I am) & I don't think I've done one thing. Funny thing is, she talks about the ridiculousness of these lists but I still found myself close to panic by the time I was finished.

Here's a little of what went on in my head:

Ohmygod, what am I going to do? I'm never going to be able to do this. It's too much. I "should" be doing all these things & I don't even have my dress, or photographer, or flowers. Invitations, what about my invitations? I haven't even decided on what I want. I'll never get everything done in time. Mr. C&E needs to help me more. I can't do this myself. I'm screwed, why do I bother?

That was fun, right? I was close to tears for no real reason. See, I know I'm not doing it the way "they" say I should & I know that the lists are basically useless to me & I know that many women wouldn't do what I'm doing. Usually, I'm fine with this but when I get to reading too much, I freak out. Usually Mr. C&E is the recipient of my tirade & he helps talk me down however he's out of town this week so I just cried instead.

Oh, and my period started today so I guess that may have something to do with it too. ;)