Sometimes, it's too much....

I've kind of avoided wedding blogs the last couple days. Don't get me wrong, I love you guys but sometimes it's too much. I'm not doing things like "they" say I should. Even thought I've been engaged over a year, I've only recently gotten serious about planning anything. Not a year ago, not even a year from the date of the wedding. Seriously, I only gave myself about 6 months. So that means every list that I find in a book, magazine or website is completely useless to me - and overwhelming.

Today I was reading A Practical Wedding. I love Meg (who doesn't?) but today she blogged about The List & I found myself freaking out. It's the 4-5 months before list (exactly where I am) & I don't think I've done one thing. Funny thing is, she talks about the ridiculousness of these lists but I still found myself close to panic by the time I was finished.

Here's a little of what went on in my head:

Ohmygod, what am I going to do? I'm never going to be able to do this. It's too much. I "should" be doing all these things & I don't even have my dress, or photographer, or flowers. Invitations, what about my invitations? I haven't even decided on what I want. I'll never get everything done in time. Mr. C&E needs to help me more. I can't do this myself. I'm screwed, why do I bother?

That was fun, right? I was close to tears for no real reason. See, I know I'm not doing it the way "they" say I should & I know that the lists are basically useless to me & I know that many women wouldn't do what I'm doing. Usually, I'm fine with this but when I get to reading too much, I freak out. Usually Mr. C&E is the recipient of my tirade & he helps talk me down however he's out of town this week so I just cried instead.

Oh, and my period started today so I guess that may have something to do with it too. ;)