One Month Ago Today....

I officially separated & moved into my own place. I know that lately everything I write tends to be about being sad & missing what I had but honestly, I'm not like that all the time. I've come to a place where I'm not sad all the time. I still cry pretty much every day but not like before. Now it's just every now & then - when I see something about weddings or a show that we always watched together or something that reminds me of an inside joke we shared - but it's different than before. At first it was full on crying & feeling sorry for myself. Now it's more like a few tears, feeling sad for a few minutes & moving on. Progress....

I've also started looking into doing some things for me. As usual, when something tough happens to me, I try to reconnect spiritually. I just ordered some books I've been wanting to get for awhile now. When I read The Secret, I realized that some of the reference material used was connected to some books I had read years ago. I'm not a huge fan of The Secret just because I think it's a little too ambiguous but it stems from The New Though Movement which I started looking into after reading Emmet Fox's Sermon on the Mount. I'm not fully involved but I do think there is something to the whole "the practice of the presence of God for practical purposes" which is just another way of looking at the Law of Attraction and manifesting through positive thinking. So I've ordered some new books to further my spiritual studies & reconnect to that part of myself that seems to have been on hold for the past few years. They should be here next week & I'm excited to get started.

I'm also thinking about going back to school. More specifically, taking online courses & getting my degree. In what? I have no idea but school can never hurt right? I just started to realize that I was in pretty much this same financial position 10 years ago & I don't want to be here in another 10 years.

And at some point, I plan to find a Pilates class & get myself into better shape. I was going to do it before the wedding so I could look great in my dress. Obviously I don't need to do that now but if in fact I need to put my product back out there on the market someday, it really should look good.

Thanks to all of you for being so supportive. I feel bad being such a downer when you guys are all happy but you all have been great. I know I'm not the only one out there going through this so hopefully my ramblings can help someone feel less alone someday.