Fuck, if I know. No one thinks about this, no one plans for it. When you get engaged, no one ever thinks about what would happen if your future groom were to freak out 3 months before your wedding & call the whole thing off.
So now I'm sitting here, in my tiny new place (less than 1/2 the size of our old place) trying to figure out what to do. I certainly have plenty to do, the whole bedroom is filled with boxes & I can't buy a bed until I get through some of this shit. Honestly, I didn't think I had that much stuff - that is, until I moved in to a place so tiny. At least it has a garage. It's full, but I have plans to donate some old furniture as well. Somehow I think maybe if I purge, I'll feel better - lighter, freer. At least I hope that will be the case.
I know that as long as I sit in the middle of this chaos, I'll be a mess. On the other hand, I don't want to go through it. Maybe because that makes it more real. I feel stuck.
On a happier note, I have a second interview on Friday so I may be among the employed again soon. I was really wanting to go back to my old company as the plan was to hire me back when they open their new location. Unfortunately, they can't give me a definite time frame & I think I just need to move on. May as well complete the circle of change right? No wedding, no fiance, new place to live, new job. Crap, I don't really know how to live this life. It's just completely different from the life I had planned 3 weeks ago.
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
I have so much catching up to do & so little time to do it! Just a quick update - the bank came through with $4000 for us to move in 30 days. I guess that makes it easier for them knowing we won't trash the place, they won't have to go through the legal hoops of eviction & they know we'll be out in 30 days & they can get in & sell it. Works for me since it's unlikely I will see my deposit any time soon.
So now I've got about 3 weeks to find a place, pack & move. Meanwhile, I also have to find a photographer & a dress. Any prayers, good thoughts, ideas or advice (or a photographer) would be greatly appreciated!
I am going to try to keep up & stay connected to this whole wedding planning thing but the last few days I have just been so overwhelmed that unfortunately, I don't do much of anything. I am trying to believe that this will all go smoothly & we'll find an awesome place & a landlord willing to work with our bad credit & we won't be packing our brains out at the last minute like last time. I really do try to buy into that vision. I actually visualize it at night & play it in my head. Like maybe if I put it out there in the universe, the universe will provide it. I'm not sure if the universe is listening but I sure hope so!
Forgive me ladies if I'm not right on top of things. I've really missed keeping up with all of you but I'll try to catch up & stay connected.
Wish me luck!
So now I've got about 3 weeks to find a place, pack & move. Meanwhile, I also have to find a photographer & a dress. Any prayers, good thoughts, ideas or advice (or a photographer) would be greatly appreciated!
I am going to try to keep up & stay connected to this whole wedding planning thing but the last few days I have just been so overwhelmed that unfortunately, I don't do much of anything. I am trying to believe that this will all go smoothly & we'll find an awesome place & a landlord willing to work with our bad credit & we won't be packing our brains out at the last minute like last time. I really do try to buy into that vision. I actually visualize it at night & play it in my head. Like maybe if I put it out there in the universe, the universe will provide it. I'm not sure if the universe is listening but I sure hope so!
Forgive me ladies if I'm not right on top of things. I've really missed keeping up with all of you but I'll try to catch up & stay connected.
Wish me luck!
I know, you don't have to tell me. I haven't been posting at all. As a matter of fact, I haven't been doing much of anything. I feel like crap. I'm fighting this upper respiratory infection & while I still read the blogs I subscribe to & try to do wedding stuff, I just don't feel like I have much to say on the whole thing.
I'm waiting on another proposal for a local venue. I about freaked out when I figured out the date we chose is only 5 months away & I don't have anything booked. But then I talked myself down because the places I'm looking at are still available on my date so I'm ok. For now.
Hopefully, I'll feel better & get back to blogging this weekend. I'm quite sure there is a lot to talk about - I just don't care at the moment.
I'm waiting on another proposal for a local venue. I about freaked out when I figured out the date we chose is only 5 months away & I don't have anything booked. But then I talked myself down because the places I'm looking at are still available on my date so I'm ok. For now.
Hopefully, I'll feel better & get back to blogging this weekend. I'm quite sure there is a lot to talk about - I just don't care at the moment.
Why is the expectation that just because you are in love & planning a wedding, that you will be happy all the time? I hate to be a downer here but my life kinda sucks right now. I lost my job & J's job is really slow. Financially, we are living day to day & trying to pay our bills. My father has said he will help with the wedding but he won't actually commit to a dollar value. We have to move because the owners of the unit have to sell it before the bank takes it over & I'm trying to plan this freakin' wedding. This. Is. Hard.
I am completely overwhelmed but it's not about the wedding, it's about my life. Now to be fair, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I will likely be going back to work for the same company in April & J is looking for more steady work as well. I know it will get better but occasionally, I just get mired in the bullshit & I need people to let me be sad sometimes. I mean, come on people, my life sucks, I'm having a very difficult time having fun right now even if I am planning a wedding!
Ok, I think I'm done. I hope everyone can appreciate the occasional bitch fest because I think I'll need to do it more than once....
I am completely overwhelmed but it's not about the wedding, it's about my life. Now to be fair, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I will likely be going back to work for the same company in April & J is looking for more steady work as well. I know it will get better but occasionally, I just get mired in the bullshit & I need people to let me be sad sometimes. I mean, come on people, my life sucks, I'm having a very difficult time having fun right now even if I am planning a wedding!
Ok, I think I'm done. I hope everyone can appreciate the occasional bitch fest because I think I'll need to do it more than once....
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